To The Bride Who Feels Like She Has No Time

These days, it feels like time is the most valuable currency we have and most of the time it somehow runs away from us. Like Lady Luck, it's illusive and we can never find enough. Even when we have tons of it, we usually have no idea what to do with it first.

But here's the thing. I don't think our relationship with Time should be like this. 

"There’s an opportune time to do things, a right Time for everything on the earth." - Ecclesiastes 3:1

We've been put here not to strain, survive, and strive to get work done.

We've been put here to thrive, grow, and live abundantly doing the God Work put before us.

With that, I pray the following tips and tricks guide you on your journey to the aisle to become more Time rich, more focused on what’s most important, and more like Christ - living fully alive.

 

Practical Tips

  • Take Time for You

When was the last time you let yourself do something for YOU? When's the last time you painted your nails, took time to straighten your hair, or read that book you've wanted to read for what seems like forever?

I, for one, can say the last time was probably months ago. If you're like me, there's something inside of you that says I don't deserve to relax. Or maybe for you, it's Relaxing is for lazy people.

Whichever boat you're in, get out of it. Row back to shore and step on solid ground.

"[There's] a right time to hold on and another to let go," - Ecclesiastes 3:6

After you've stepped out of that rocky boat, you'll be able to fully see that there is to be a Time each day to just be YOU. So get out there - take time to paint your nails, go for a walk, or get your workout on to let go of the stress you keep holding onto.

  • Set Priorities

When first starting the process of planning, did you set priorities with your fiancé? I mean, did you two actually look at the big ticket items and tell each other which you cared about most?

I remember in The Knot Wedding Planner, Alan and I put little dots closer to things that we cared more about. Not gonna lie. It was SOO helpful. I cared about photography, of course! He cared about the DJ. We both cared about food.

It was those big fish that we caught first, and within catching those fish, we got all the other smaller players in our net too.

I highly recommend prioritizing what's important, and letting the little stuff stay little. 

"[There's a right time to search and another to count your losses," - Ecclesiastes 3:6

If you can’t do it all, either drop it, challenge it, or delegate it to your closest helpers.

  • Drop the To-Do List after 8pm

I'm a planner. Everyday, I have a list of things I need to get done. I legit organize it the day before so that I get started immediately without trying to figure out what to do first thing. Yep. I am a living, breathing organizational monster :) I promise it's mostly a good thing.

Unfortunately, I ALWAYS fall into the trap of wanting to continue work because it's not done... and I was the exact same way during wedding planning.

From one who definitely needed this reminder during that season --> You DON'T have to check off every box on your Daily To Do List.

I give you permission to let that burden go. Do what you can and then let it be for the day.

"[There's] a [right] time to scatter stones and a time to gather them," - Ecclesiastes 3:5
 

Spiritual Tips

  • Just Breathe

If you've worked your little heart out and are definitely at a done-zo moment, even after following the practical times. It's time to stop.

You worked hard, played hard, and planned hard, but you are here for more than the Performance you show the world.

You are meant to Rest in His Arms.
You are meant to Enjoy His Creation.
You are meant to Love His People.

So STOP! Step out of wedding planning and step into rest. Be with your family. Eat well. Turn your phone off. Cuddle your fiancé. Remember that you are a person. You are not a robot.

And if you’re in Robot mode, let God warm up your steely heart. 

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe
 - Jonny Diaz - Breathe
  • Keep and Throw

When our rooms got wicked messy as a kid, my mom would come in with a big black trash bag and we couldn't leave until we did keep and throw... or until we cleaned up our room.

So here's the thing. Is your room messy? What's in it? Should you really be cleaning or instead just tossing things out that don't matter? And is the thing you’re striving to make or set up for the wedding actually important?

 "[There is] a [right] time to keep and a time to throw away," - Ecclesiastes 3:6

Remember, when it comes down to it the wedding day memories that will matter the most are the ones with your husband. Not the bouquet colors or the heel height. Not the Kendra Scott earrings or the DIY centerpieces.

We’re not here to meet secular style standards… so while I absolutely love details and enjoy a beautiful bouquet, I CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR HEART.

Is your heart more focused on the look of your day or the handsome love of your day? 

  • Look Up

After letting lack of time rule your day, impatience and attitude are the two trusty Princesses that show up right in time for a class A bloodbath. Instead of letting the ugly of your day flow over to smear others, LOOK UP.

LOOK UP to realize that the day is not about the things, it's about the Love.

LOOK UP to receive His Grace and Strength to get through these difficult days.

LOOK UP to remember Whose you are and Who you are.

LOOK UP to rest.

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. LOOK UP, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective. - Colossians 3:2-4 MSG