Episode 1: Reset The Expectations You Have For Yourself (There's Not One Right Way To Wife)

Welcome!

This LIVE Show & Podcast is right for you if:

- if you're newly married
- if you want to grow in your marriage relationship
- if you want to keep Jesus at the center of your marriage
- if you want to grow in holiness with your spouse
- if you're not sure how to handle the upcoming holidays with two families
- if you're figuring out who takes out the trash
- if you're finding you aren't a fan of conflict when you can't leave the house after the argument
- if you feel like you aren't a good wife
- if you feel like he's not a good husband
- if you feel distant
- and so so so many more, ya'll let's be honest, if you're married, this is probably for you :)

To explain why we’re doing this, let me tell you a story. For every wedding, we arrive before they have their First Look or First Prayer, so that we can pray over the bride and groom individually. Honestly, THAT is the most important part of the wedding day for us because we are able to intimately impact their marriage.

We pray over him and say, “Dear Jesus, we ask that you lead this man and guide him to grow into the leader of his family as he leans on you. When he sees her today, Lord, we ask that he see you, and that he know LOVE, deep LOVE fully and truly is in her because it comes from you.”

We pray over her and say, “Dear Jesus, we ask that you lead this gal and guide her to grow into the helpmate and equal to her groom. We ask that you guide her and help her to lean on you as she leans on her groom. When she sees him today, Lord, we ask that she see you, and that she know LOVE, deep LOVE fully and truly is in him because it comes from you.”

My heart is in love with weddings because it’s in love with couples pursuing Christ. On wedding days, I stand behind the camera but I stand beside the couple as they make their covenant. Every day past their wedding, those prayers begin to be answered, and I want to be with you to continue to pray, and continue to guide, and continue to stand beside.

Episode 1 - Reset Your Expectations

Let’s GO!

On today's episode, Sinikka talks about the expectations we have of ourselves when we first get married. Challenge yourself to uproot those expectations and preferences of how you should "wife" or "husband", and focus on how Jesus wants you to show up for your marriage.

Now, let’s talk about you. After you said your I Do, how were you? On both Instagram and Facebook, you told me exactly how you were doing. We walked through how you said you were doing:

  • Married & it’s Magic

  • Married & it’s Messy

  • Married & it’s Manic

  • Married & it’s MEH

We walked through what you told me you experienced after you got married:

  • You started treating your spouse differently

  • You changed your entire routine in order to fit into theirs

  • You expected a heck of a lot of things from yourselves

  • You expected a heck of a lot of things from your spouse

Let’s talk - what exactly did you expect from yourself, ladies? I KNOW it was a whole lot, and I can relate. Let me tell you a story. When I was little, my mom always had dinner on the table by 5pm, it was a staple in our family and a consistent routine our day wrapped itself around. When I was little, my dad always wanted us to be somewhere in or around our home. He loved having quantities of time together and it made for great memories singing in the living room or having bonfires in the backyard.

While my parents are incredible, exceptional people, I expected myself to “wife” exactly like my mother did, and I expected my husband to “husband” like my father did, but ya’ll, I’m not my mother and he’s not my father. My life does not allow for 5pm dinnertimes with home-cooked meals, and my schedule did not allow me oodles of time at home for a season because I was creating a photography career of the side of my full-time job.

So here’s my questions to you:

What lies have been planted in your heart that you need to uproot?

What expectations do you have of yourself that are not rooted in Christ?

What pre-marriage relational experience and knowledge are you bringing into marriage? (Is it all helpful?)

I ask because those are lies, sis. Those are preferences your heart has and I know it’s not what Jesus has expected of you. Now here’s what Jesus expects of you in your marriage relationship - He expects you to both be faithful, open, and able to grow.

Jesus does not expect perfection, or dinner on the table at 5pm. This is not a SHAME game. There is NO guilt here. The way you “wife” won’t look exactly like how others do, because you’re not like everyone else.

So, reset your expectations, you’re not your mother and he is not your father., and girl, you’ve got this. Get out there and hug your husband. Thank Jesus for him and let him hear you say, “Forever, I Choose You.”